so it goes, and so it went: over the weekend it came to my attention,- first via trickle (a well-meaning message from a kind friend) then via relative flood (recollection of past encounters replaying in my brain)
i'm not the same as i used to be. and virtually nothing in my life is the way it used to be.
i'm ambivalent, or more appropriately, confused. (is "multivalent" a word? i'm that.) i understand it, and i'm a touch excited, a touch bewildered, and a touch annoyed. i'm not thrilled with myself for the last of those feelings, because it's ultimately not that surprising. change is just another part of the way life is.
and while i can accept this fact, it doesn't stop me for wishing for old friends back or certain parts of my life that i miss terribly. why does it seem like this isn't happening to anyone else? i don't mean to sound ungrateful, because really, i enjoy where i'm at now. there are just some things i wish turned out differently.
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