oh star shine down on me.

this afternoon i had a dream that i went to a restaurant that had kitten on the menu. this seemed like a normal thing; it was a typical New Orleans restaurant -- shrimp, oysters, kitten. ice Cube was the chef. they had live kittens in cages in the kitchen and t wanted to buy them all to save their lives, but i didn't want Cube to think i was a sentimental wuss. i woke up crying.

my dreams have been thoroughly confusing as of late.

i want someone to explain this to me.

plenty to worry about lately and not a lot of time to post. i want summer here. now ):

bye bye februrary

so it goes, and so it went: over the weekend it came to my attention,-
first via trickle (a well-meaning message from a kind friend)
then via relative flood (recollection of past encounters replaying in my brain)

i'm not the same as i used to be. and virtually nothing in my life is the way it used to be.


i'm ambivalent, or more appropriately, confused. (is "multivalent" a word? i'm that.) i understand it, and i'm a touch excited, a touch bewildered, and a touch annoyed. i'm not thrilled with myself for the last of those feelings, because it's ultimately not that surprising. change is just another part of the way life is.

and while i can accept this fact, it doesn't stop me for wishing for old friends back or certain parts of my life that i miss terribly. why does it seem like this isn't happening to anyone else? i don't mean to sound ungrateful, because really, i enjoy where i'm at now. there are just some things i wish turned out differently.

oh yeah, first post. yay.
eh.